Monster Manual 3

This weekend, Eric found my copy of the D&D Monster Manual 3 and pawed through it. There are a few gems, but I'd really have to say the MM3 was a disappointment overall. Because I like making lists of things, here's a list of things.

Beacons of Hope

Arcane ooze
Cinder swarm
Sorrowswarn demon. Great name, great picture, cool powers. We got a winner.
Death giant. Sounds really highschool, I know, but he's got what it takes.
Shadesteel golem. THIS KILLS EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME.
Grisgol. Really great. He puts a curse on you when you kill him. An AWESOME curse.
Knell beetle
Night twist. Another monster with an awesome curse.
Redcap
Rot reaver. Not a very good picture, but good anyway.
Slaughterstone behemoth
Slaughterstone evicerator
Vasuthant

Solid

Ambush drake. I'm a sucker for dragons.
Astral stalker
Battle briar
Boneclaw
Brood keeper
Cadaver collector
Charnel hound
Chelicera
Chraal
Conflagration ooze
Dragon eel. This one would get a lower grade, but it has a really good picture.
Dread blossom swarm
Dust wight
Ephemeral swarm. Good picture, great idea.
Geriviar. Really strange, but has a unique combination of abilities.
Eldritch giant
Glaistig
Alchemical golem. Not a bad idea, but I can't imagine why in-game person would ever make one of these sure-to-destroy-your-entire-house-in-its-first-battle golems.
Gloom golem. Not bad, but a bit of a stretch to make a golem out of that.
Prismatic golem
Grimweird
Gulgar. If you absolutely must have more monstrous humanoids.
Harssaf. See above.
Justicator
Living spells. Neat idea. Nice to have 'em statted out.
Mindshredder. Silly-looking, but some good abilities.
Necronaut. Awesome name.
Lifeleech otyugh. Why isn't this a template?
Petal. Not a badly written fey, if you're into that sort of thing.
Phoelarch. Points for creativity.
Plague spewer
Protean scourge
Ragewalker
Ak'chazar rakshasa
Naztharune rakshasa
Prismatic roper
Runehound
Shimmerling swarm
Shredstorm
Shrieking terror
Skindancer
Snowflake ooze
Spellwarped creature
Splinterwaif
Stonesinger
Summoning ooze
Susurrus. But seriously, WTF?
Topiary guardian
Trilloch
Witchknife
Wood woad
Woodling
Yugoloth (I love yugoloths, even though the 3rd edition team keeps giving them extra arms for no reason)

Uninspired

Armand. Alright guys, get this. They're like people, but they're ARMADILLOS!
Bearhound
Changeling. I know they think they need to have the playable races in the monster manual. Sigh.
Deathshrieker. Uh, alright, we need another undead. How 'bout something that screams a lot. What'dya mean we've already done that? Oh, right, well, just give it a skull for a head and I think we'll be good.
Battletitan dinosaur
Bloodstriker dinosaur
Fleshraker dinosaur
Swindlespitter dinosaur. Yawn.
Drowned. Good picture, but no.
Storm elemental
Feral yowler. Yawn.
Hangman golem. Uh, how 'bout... uh, what haven't we done yet? Rope!
Mud golem. See above.
Kenku
Blackscale lizardfolk. A write-up for these guys wasn't really necissary.
Poison dusk lizardfolk. Again.
Lurking strangler
Needletooth swarm
Odopi
Omnimental. So if one of these, a Tempest, and a Storm elemental all got in a fight, would anybody care?
Plague brush
Rage drake
Rejkar
Salt mummy
Shifter. See "changeling."
Ssvaklor
Swamp strider swarm
Thorn
Vermin lord
Visilight
Voidmind creature
Warforged. You know, Eberron?
Zezir

Just Plain Bad

Avalancher. Who could take this thing seriously with a picture like that?
Bonedrinker. Really bad picture.
Arrow demon
Dracotaur. We already had this creature. It's a tauric lizardman aligator.
Sand giant. Does this interest ANYONE?
Flind gnoll. It's like a gnoll, but with NUNCHUCKS!!!
Goatfolk
Forestkith goblin. It's like a goblin, but with a NET!!!
Web golem
Harpoon spider
Ironclad mauler. It's like a bear, but with ARMOR!!!
Lhosk
Lumi
Mastodon. This is different from a dire elephant, how?
Mivilorn
Nycter. For the love of... Nobody likes desmodus, alright, NOBODY!
Skullcrusher ogre. This goes far beyond "uninspired."
Quaraphon. WTF?
Sea tiger
Seryulin. It's a slug. You ride it.
Siege crab. If I see one more creature described as "a living siege engine" I'm gonna lose it.
Cave troll
Crystalline troll
Forest troll
Mountain troll
War troll